Four Years
by treesa
Summary: It's 4 years after the raft was picked up and everyone was rescued. Sawyer thinks he's moved on, that is until he hears that Kate has been released from prison.
1. Chapter 01

This is my FIRST EVER fanfic, so please be nice! Heh. This is the first story I've written in like 3 years, and the first story I've written for fun in God knows how long.. 

Not sure how many chapters this will be, but I have a feeling this will be a long one. :) 

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**CHAPTER 1**

_"Be safe, Sawyer."_

He slowly opened his eyes, waking from the dream he'd been having every other day for the past month. This time was different, however, in that he wasn't jolted awake in such a violent way that his first instinct was to grab the gun he kept under his mattress. Sawyer never understood why he always reacted in that way, after hearing her voice saying what ended up being the last thing she said to him. He also didn't understand why these dreams suddenly came about; it had been 4 years since the plane crash, since the stay on the island, and since they had all been rescued. Now, as he lay there feeling rested for the first time in a month, her face graced his thoughts like it did practically every night on the island. Sawyer smiled a little, but quickly took his hands and ran his palms up and down against his face. _Get a grip, boy. You done forgot about that damn island years ago._ He looked to his right; 6:15 a.m. He grunted a little but knew he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. Sawyer looked ahead at the TV directly in front of him, a little further away from the foot of the bed. _Is there anything even ON at this time of the day?_ He knew there was, but he was sure it wasn't anything he'd be remotely interested in. He sighed in defeat, however, and turned it on. Sure enough, it was the morning news. _Blah blah.. The traffic report coming next.. Blah blah._ By the time they got to the top stories of the morning, Sawyer had had enough and was dressed and heading out his apartment. The front door closed behind him as the anchor started the top story.

"After four years in a correctional facility, Katherine Austin, the fugitive who became one of the most famous plane crash survivors in recent history, will be released today. Our crew will be there to cover this story, and we will give you a full report at 5:00." 

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Sawyer didn't get back to his place until a little after 11 p.m., and he wasn't alone. The bleached blonde was decked out in Dolce & Gabbana but reeked of cheap liquor and cigarettes. It was turning Sawyer's stomach, but it didn't stop him from pawing at her even before they got to his door. They finally made their way inside, past the living room, and into Sawyer's bedroom. He was obviously distracted, not noticing the TV was still on. She backed away from his grip on her and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

"This is a nice place," she said as she slid her shoes off, using one foot to take off the other. "I thought you'd be taking me to some sleazy motel or something." She looked up at him, smiling wryly yet seductively. Sawyer was in his element; a beautiful woman in his bed, willing and able to give him exactly what he wanted. Yet at this moment, this wasn't where he really wanted to be. 

"Guess you had me all wrong then, sweetheart." He grinned, as only he could, and inched towards her. "I guess we'll have to put the sleaze in ourselves." She giggled knowingly before he kissed her hard enough to push her down on her back. In no time, Sawyer's hand was nearly up her dress when a face flashed across his thoughts. His lips moved away from hers for a second and he whispered. "Kate.."

"What?" She moved her face away a little. 

"Huh?" Sawyer was sure he hadn't said the name out loud. He played it off. "I didn't say.." 

"You said something." She reached for where his hand was, about ready to stop it in its tracks. 

"Baby, I think the alcohol is messin' with your hearing. I didn't say a damn.." This time, it was Sawyer who heard something; a familiar story, and then a name. He turned his head around in the direction of the TV and it was as if he was dreaming again. That face. That brown wavy hair that never looked out of place, even though it never really looked neat, either. He wasn't even paying attention to what was being said, but something did come through that caught his attention. _Released._

"What is it?" She propped herself by her elbows and glanced to where he was looking. "You know her?" He wasn't moving or responding. She suddenly felt invisible. "Well, I guess this night is over." She muttered under her breath, turned sideways and was now sitting up, putting her shoes back on. Only then did Sawyer notice. 

"Where you goin?" 

"It's been fun handsome, but it looks like you got something else to occupy your night." She shot a glance at the TV and then back to him before walking away. "I can find my way out." She said, dryly, with her back facing him. 

Sawyer heard the front door close and after getting up to turn off the TV, he just sat there. He had no idea what had just happened, if he even saw what he saw. Yet he knew what he was feeling, so it had to have been true. Kate had been released. Suddenly, all these thoughts came flooding in. It was too much at first, and he found himself on his back with his eyes closed. It only took a few minutes before he fell asleep. 


	2. Chapter 02

This is still a Sawyer/Kate story, but other characters will show up, especially in the next couple of chapters. After that, it will mostly be Kate and Sawyer. Kate is coming soon, don't worry. ;) 

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**CHAPTER 2**

Sawyer was up at noon, his usual time. He staggered to the kitchen, surprisingly without a hangover but still exhausted, more so from what he had seen on TV that night than what he did yesterday. He was thinking about it again this morning, but this time with a clear head. Does it even matter that she was released? It had been too long; no doubt she's been through a lot these past four years. The last thing she'd be thinking about is that damn island. Besides, out of everyone there, Sawyer wasn't exactly her favorite person. That was pretty clear. However, there were times that had him questioning this. When you genuinely don't like someone, you stay away. Hell, that's why he was alone most of the time. Yet sometimes, when she could have easily told him to go away, she didn't. In the beginning, it was just for kicks. There was something about her he couldn't leave well enough alone. As time went on, however, it became something else. Something he tried to figure out for the rest of the time he was there. To this day, he was still confused. _Shit, this needs to stop. That woman ain't nothing but been poison in your mind. Nothin' happened, nothin' ever will happen._ Sawyer knew this was true; maybe it was time to forget all about it. 

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That afternoon, Sawyer was making his way to the liquor store when he heard someone calling out his name. He stopped and looked around, not recognizing anyone. He continued walking when he heard it again. 

"Hey, Sawyer!" It was definitely a man's voice, and very familiar. Sawyer looked around one more time until he noticed a black man with a kid at his side heading towards him. 

"Well isn't this somethin, Mike the mariner and little junior." Sawyer smiled sarcastically at the now teenage Walt, who along with already possessing the indifferent attitude of a 14 year old, also managed to grow about 5 inches. Sawyer turned back to Michael. "I thought ya'll were back in New York?" 

"Yeah, well, we were for awhile. Things didn't really.. work out." He shot a quick glance at Walt who was now occupied with his headphones. "Anyway, I got commissioned to do some murals around here. Guess when they realized who I was, they thought it would be good publicity, you know?" 

"Well, at least one of us got something good outta all this madness, only ones callin' me up were people I owed money to. Guess they were thinking I found some buried treasure shit on that island or something. That's what I get for doing business with morons." 

Michael chucked a little. They stood there in silence for what seemed like forever. Finally Sawyer spoke up. 

"Looks like the kid wants to head on out, and I gotta take care of something so I better.." 

"Wait, I have something for you." Michael reached into the messenger bag that he had draped across his chest and pulled out an envelope. It was a light yellow color. "It's a wedding invitation." 

Sawyer wanted to smile, considering his past.. activities, he saw it as ironic that he was being invited to a wedding. He didn't show it, though. "I know we had our special time on the raft, captain, but I didn't think I'd be on your list of people to share your special day." He said mockingly as he stared at Michael's face, knowing he was right. 

"My fiancée.. it was her idea. She knows the story, obviously, and I guess she wanted to put faces to the names. You don't have to go to the wedding, just the reception is fine." Suddenly, there was a look of amusement on Michael's face. "It's open bar." 

Sawyer looked at him and grinned. "Well Mikey, you finally said the magic words." 


	3. Chapter 03

This chapter went through a BUNCH of revisions, and I'm still not 100 percent satisfied with it. But I still like it. :) 

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**CHAPTER 3**

It had been three weeks since being invited to Michael's wedding and Sawyer still wasn't sure if he wanted to go, even though he had told Michael he'd stop by at the reception. He would have forgotten all about it if it wasn't for that conspicuous pastel yellow and frilly invitation on his dresser. It all seemed too high school reunion for him, having to hear about and see who got fat, married, divorced, whatever. Even though he had spent a month with these people, it was easy for Sawyer to keep his distance if he wanted to avoid someone. It also helped that no one particularly wanted to talk to him in the first place. There was only one thing that kept him from completely dismissing the idea of going, and that frustrated Sawyer to no end. If anything, seeing Michael again intensified his thoughts of her. Michael didn't mention if Kate would be there, but he didn't mention anyone else either. Sawyer came up with countless reasons as to why he shouldn't go; sappy wedding moments and seeing middle-aged men attempting to dance at the reception was definitely _not_ Sawyer's scene, LA traffic - no need for explanation there, and just knowing that no one would really care if he _wasn't_ there. _Aw hell, if I don't go I'll never get a moment's peace. If she isn't there, that's the end of it. If she is.._ Sawyer didn't let himself go there, knowing full well that fantasies hardly ever turn out the way you hope.

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The reception was being held in Malibu, at a banquet hall right next to the beach. When Sawyer pulled up and saw the ocean and sandy beach, he smirked a little and shook his head. _I wonder whose fucking cute idea this was._ He took a swig from his Jack Daniels bottle, took a deep breath, got out of the car and made his way inside, in the lobby, and in front of the reserved room. When he got to the door, he could already hear the festivities going on inside. He hesitated for a second. _You can turn back if you want, no one will see you. You can just leave and forget about all this._ Suddenly, the door opened towards Sawyer which made him step back. Someone was coming out, and Sawyer recognized him immediately.

"Oh excuse me.." The man had been looking down while opening the door, and only knew that someone was coming in at the same time. He finally looked up and there was a split second of unrecognition before realizing who he was standing face to face with. "Sawyer."

"Jack." Sawyer said stiffly, but he quickly relaxed and snickered a little. "How did I know it'd be the good ol' Doc that I'd first run into?" From the look of amused annoyance that was on Jack's face, Sawyer knew that not much had changed. He glanced over Jack's shoulder. "Is everyone drunk yet?"

Jack didn't answer. "Michael told me he invited you. I didn't think you'd show." After Jack said this, a look of realization washed over his face. He then looked back and scanned the room of people, like he was looking for someone.

"Yeah well, I'm not staying long." Sawyer then looked behind him towards the parking lot. He turned back to Jack. "Leaving already? Aw shucks, and I just got here too." His sarcastic tone only attempted to hide the rising tension that was developing.

"No, I have to get something from the car. For my wife." There was a defeated tone in his voice that concerned Jack. For some reason, he didn't want to admit that he was living the cookie-cutter, suburban life that Sawyer predicted he would have.

"Well now, can't keep the missus waiting now, can we?" Sawyer smirked slightly as Jack walked past him. He was in a slightly better mood and made his way inside the room. He quickly spotted the makeshift bar and walked over as fast as he could, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. He was halfway there when someone stopped in front of him. For a few seconds this large man just stood there.

"Dude!" He then turned to his left and seemed to be yelling at someone across the room. "He's here, you owe me $20!" Then a faint voice in an unmistaken English accent yelled back from that direction.

"You're a bloody millionaire! I was just joking about the bet!"

Hurley was about to protest when Sawyer spoke up. "What the hell.." He looked at Charlie then back to Hurley, his jaw stiffening. "If you don't get the fuck out of my way.."

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that, dude. It's just that no one thought you'd.."

By then Sawyer had already walked past him. _I'm a goddamn circus attraction. This was a bad idea_. He definitely wanted to leave then, but he needed a drink more than ever. He finally made his way to the bar and ordered a glass of whiskey.

"You made it. Can't say I'm not surprised."

Sawyer turned around to see Michael in his crisp black tux, his beautiful new bride at his side. Sawyer was regretting coming, and he almost wanted to blame Michael, so much so that he was tempted to hit on the new blushing bride. "Yeah, I've gotten that a lot." Sawyer looked at him with contempt and was about to say a whole lot more, but instead he lifted up his glass to get the last of his drink. "Well as much as I'd like to join the conga line that American Idol reject over there is about to start, I think it's time for me to head on out. Thanks for the invite, Mike. I hope you two will be happy as clams." Sawyer walked between them and headed for the door, ready to forget about this night and everything and everyone connected to it. He was mere feet from the door when Jack suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Don't you wanna know?"

Sawyer could see in Jack's face that he regretted the words he had just spoken. Sawyer was curious, but he didn't want to stay a minute longer. "Know what? Why you're always _in my way?_" He looked at Jack knowingly, and then walked around him. Sawyer's hand had already touched the handle when Jack spoke again.

"Don't you wanna know.. that she's here?"

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I hope you guys liked the cameos. ;) I wanted to write in more characters and add dialogue, but I wanted to get to the real heart of this story, which is Kate and Sawyer. I'll try to bring more people in eventually. :)


	4. Chapter 04

Thanks for the reviews everyone! Sorry this took so long, some stuff came up that I had to tend to. :) 

**MistyX** - I've read your reviews for _In Hiding_ and I'm glad to get a review from you. I hope I hear from you more often, heh. Hope Kate and Sawyer's meeting in this chapter isn't too dramatic for you. :P

**liFE-SaRkER** - Yes, it is a Kate/Sawyer story, heh. I just wanted to draw the drama out a little before they met up again. ;)

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**CHAPTER 4**

Kate hadn't intended on staying outside this long when she left the party to get some air. At first she just stood right outside the doors that lead to the walkway towards the beach, but she found herself on the path and eventually down to the sand. She walked a little towards the water and then headed left, away from the beachcombers, barefoot with her sandals now dangling from her fingers. She was wanting to sit on the sand, but realizing that she was in a dress she instead made her way to a rock that seemed to form itself to a comfortable place to sit. After she checked to make sure the surface wasn't wet, she sat down and looked out over the ocean.

Kate wasn't sure if anyone noticed at the time, but the day the raft left, that same night she was sitting on the beach looking at the ocean. Both Sawyer and Jack would notice she would do this, but she never fully explained why. To her, these were the only moments that truly felt were just for her. She was alone a lot on the island, but those were spent climbing up trees or walking around the jungle to look for food for everyone. Sitting on the beach allowed her to just be Kate. She always found peace doing this, except for that night, which was when the rescue boat appeared on the shore and Kate realized that she had nowhere to run.

The sound of young voices and water suddenly broke Kate from her thoughts. She saw two young kids, a boy and a girl, standing near where the waves would end up before heading back to sea. When the water would get close to them, the boy would reach down and splash the girl with water. She seemed to be annoyed the first couple of times, but eventually she started to laugh run around, still laughing and with the boy in pursuit. Suddenly, Kate heard another voice, this time it was behind her.

"Do you do this at _every_ beach you go to?"

Recognizing the sarcastic tone and voice immediately, Kate turned around slowly. Looking at him again brought her back to that night on the island; she remembered there was something else on her mind when she sat there those years ago. Kate realized she was staring and quickly brought her eyes back towards the water. She couldn't help it, and smiled. "Hey, Sawyer."

Even though Kate was looking away from him now, Sawyer kept his eyes on her. He really didn't know what to do, what exactly to say next. This moment had been haunting him since that first night she was in his dreams. She still looked beautiful, but different. He had been used to seeing her so guarded, looking like she was ready to run at a moment's notice. At this moment, for the first time, she looked comfortable exactly where she was. He looked away, feeling like he was invading her space. He was about to turn when she turned around again.

"You look the same. Well, maybe a few wrinkles here and there." She smiled again, and chuckled a little.

Sawyer wanted to look upset, but seeing her like this only brought a smile to his face. "Nice seein' you too, Freckles." He said in both a sarcastic and genuine tone. "You finally got a sense of humor. They teach you that on the inside?" Sawyer quickly looked down, wanting to kick himself. He glanced over to see her reaction.

She was looking at the ocean again, but she didn't look upset. "I'm just glad to be out, to finally be free." Her expression softened and she turned back to Sawyer. "Did you see Jack?"

Sawyer, who had been standing on his own, now leaned back against the rock and shook his head. "You really wanna ruin our little reunion here?" He said half jokingly, half in defeat. He couldn't look at her now. "Yeah, I saw Jack. Nearly hit me in the face when I was comin' in." Sawyer finally looked up and saw that she was looking at him. He made sure his eyes were fixed on her, determined to see her every reaction. "Saw the wife, too. Always knew the doc had good taste." He looked for any change in her face, but she just smiled and bent down to put her shoes back on.

After Kate adjusted the straps on her sandals, she stood up and turned around. "Are you coming back inside?"

Sawyer looked at her, and could almost see that she wanted him to go back with her. Sawyer broke their gaze, putting his guard up once again, and instead looked to her right towards the water. "You go on ahead, Freckles. I think I'll try out this sit-and-watch-the-ocean thing, see what the big fuss is all about." He turned back to her with a smirk on his face. He then reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

"It's illegal to smoke on the beach, Sawyer."

Sawyer couldn't help but chuckle a little at Kate's comment and notice that Kate could see the irony in her proclamation. "I think I'll take my chances with the beach police." He said as he lit one up.

Kate rolled her eyes and started walking away towards the hall doors. She had barely walked past him when she stopped. She wanted to know, but she really didn't know why. Still without really knowing why she was doing it, she turned around. "Hey, Sawyer.."

"Uh huh.." He said without turning around to face her.

"Where were you when they were loading the raft?"

"Cuttin' down some bamboo for a new mast." He said nonchalantly, but then slowly he turned around to face her. He then stood up. "Why are you asking?"

They stood there, not saying anything for a few seconds. For the first time throughout this whole conversation, Sawyer once again saw the Kate that he saw on the island. Guarded and ready to run. Kate finally spoke up.

"Oh.. no reason." Kate looked at Sawyer a little longer and then finally turned around and walked back inside.

Sawyer, however, was still standing there.


	5. Chapter 05

Sorry this chapter took so long, I started a new job not too long ago and I've been busy with that. Hopefully I'll have Chapter 6 done by Friday. :) 

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**CHAPTER 5**

_"Why are you asking?"_

_"Oh.. no reason."_

The sun's rays peeked through the blinds of Sawyer's bedroom and were strong enough to wake him abruptly. For a second he didn't know where he was since his last memory up to that moment was standing on the beach. He finally collected himself and realized it was about a week later, and he had been dreaming. Sawyer opened his eyes a little more but was blinded by the sword of light directly on his face, and then feeling like he was punched by the heat that penetrated through his windows. He slowly sat up, his hand up to his eyes to shield them, to make his way towards the window to seal the blinds a little more. Sawyer turned his body and his feet were about to touch the floor when he heard a groan at his side. A confused look washed over his face before he turned his head to see a somewhat haggard looking redhead, half naked in the least and on her stomach, sleeping next to him. He looked at her intently, trying to remember what had happened the night before. Sawyer knew he had gone out but didn't remember much else. He was still looking at her when her eyes opened. 

"You are so sweet," she smiled and placed her hand on his chest, "how long have you been watching me sleeping?" 

Sawyer looked at her, confused, but he quickly recovered. He grinned. "Not long, I just woke up." He took her fingers, placed it on his lips and kissed them. 

She giggled as Sawyer started kissing down her arm. The woman turned her head slightly and then quickly sat up. "Oh my God!" She exclaimed as she quickly jumped out of bed and started picking up pieces of clothing from the floor. "It's 10:30! I'm late for work!" She managed to get most of her clothes back on, except her bra which she was still clutching in her hand, and started heading back to the living room. 

Still shirtless, Sawyer got his jeans on as fast as he could and followed her almost to the front door. "Wait, let me give you a ride or somethin'. You can't be walking around --" He was about to start looking for his keys when she stopped and turned around. 

"I drove here, remember?" 

Sawyer stood there blankly, unable to hide the fact that he didn't remember anything. She looked embarrassed and turned back around and opened the door. "No wait, I meant --" He tried to reach for her when he saw someone right outside his front door. The woman was startled enough to clutch her bra closer to her, but she immediately lowered her head and walked away. 

The man standing at the door watched her leave but quickly turned his attention back to Sawyer. He looked a bit uncomfortable, but Sawyer wasn't sure if it was because of the woman or something else. 

"I'd ask what I could do for you, Doc, but I figure I should ask how you found out where I lived first." The condescending tone that naturally always came through when Sawyer was talking to Jack was only partially masking his genuine curiosity of how and why Jack was there. He wondered if Jack could sense this. 

"Michael saw you coming in here a few days ago. I asked around and --" Jack shifted his weight to his right and looked around before turning back to Sawyer. "So which one is it really? Sawyer.. or James?" 

Sawyer smiled, remembering that even after the rescue and the whole media blitz, his secrets remained his own. While he himself was hearing about Charlie's past drug addiction, Jin's ties with the Korean mafia or, Sawyer's personal favorite, Jack's failed first marriage to a woman whose life he saved; there was nothing about him on the news. No one was calling him for interviews or hiding in the bushes taking pictures. Sawyer always figured that with 40+ survivors, most of them willing to go on Leno for their 15 minutes, it was easy for him to slip through. 

Before Sawyer could respond to his question, Jack chuckled and put hand up in front of him. "You know what, I don't wanna know." Jack's tone seemed to be light-hearted still, but Sawyer couldn't help but notice that something was weighing heavily on Jack's mind. "Can I come in?" 

Sawyer had a bad feeling about all this, but his curiosity got the best of him. He smiled, moved out of the way and gestured for Jack to come in. "Be my guest, Doc." Sawyer said before following Jack into the living room and sitting down on the couch while Jack was still standing. Sawyer sat on the edge, sat back so only his shoulders touched the leather upholstery, and folded his hands over his stomach. "So, are doctors doing house calls even if no one's sick now?" Sawyer said sarcastically, completely expecting that look of annoyance that Jack always gave him. This time, however, Jack had the same expression that he had at the reception. Sawyer relaxed a little and sat up. "What do you want, Jack?" Sawyer couldn't have prepared himself for what Jack was about to say. 

"I want.. I need you to look after Kate." Jack said before sighing heavily. 

Sawyer stared at Jack with the kind of intensity that could have burned through steel. He was determined not to show any reaction, despite feeling like his heart was going to leap out of his chest. _This son-of-a-bitch has a lot of nerve, coming in a man's home and jerkin' him around._ Sawyer broke his gaze, looked down at the floor and chuckled. He got up and headed towards the front door. He opened it and turned around to face Jack. "I think you better be on your way, Doc, 'cause I ain't got time to play your games." 

Jack didn't move and kept his eyes on Sawyer. It was clear that despite the animosity and the glaring differences between these two men, they somehow managed to understand each other without saying much. Jack knew that Sawyer knew at that moment, Jack was not playing games. As predicted, Sawyer closed the door. 

"You want me.." Sawyer shook his head and couldn't help but laugh a little, "to look after Kate?" He looked at Jack and could see this was the last thing that Jack would have wanted, the look of defeat in his eyes were obvious. 

"I offered her a job at the hospital, to help. She wouldn't take it." Jack was looking down now. 

"If that lil' lady wouldn't take help from her knight in shining armor, what makes you think she'll let me? You know how she feels about –" 

"Yes," Jack interrupted, stiffened, and looked at Sawyer knowingly, "I know how she feels about you." He could see Sawyer's face soften, which was a rarity. Jack cleared his throat and relaxed a little. "She's been running for years, Sawyer. That's what kept her going and strong. Now that she doesn't have anything to run from anymore, I think she's feeling.. lost. She won't take help from anyone, but she needs it." 

Sawyer walked past Jack and towards the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of beer. "You want one, Doc?" 

"Um, no thanks, I have to go to work in a couple of hours. And also 'cause it's only about 11 in the morning." Jack said mockingly, even managing a slight smile. Sawyer returned the smile, gave a slight nod and made his way back to the couch. 

"This is the same Kate that made the damn FBI look like chickens with their heads chopped off." Sawyer took a swig before continuing. "She held her own on that island. If you ask me, I think the ol' girl can manage on her own." He wanted to kick himself. He wasn't sure if Jack could see through his veil of disinterest. Sawyer, however, had a feeling that he did. 

"She needs a friend, Sawyer. She needs someone that –" 

"That doesn't have anything better to do with his life than babysit someone that don't need it? I see how it is. Go ask Sawyer, he doesn't have anything important to do. Right?" Sawyer looked at Jack accusingly but Jack's expression didn't change. 

"Kate needs someone that understands her. So I'm asking you. I'm not stupid, Sawyer." Jack pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. He tossed it towards the coffee table. "She's staying there. Room 56." Jack stood there and waited for Sawyer to pick it up, knowing that he would. 

Sawyer stared at it for a few more seconds before picking it up. He looked up and Jack started walking away towards the front door. It was only after Jack closed the door behind him that Sawyer unfolded the piece of paper. It had the name of the motel and the room number. Also written on it, at the bottom, was just one word. "Thanks." 


	6. Chapter 06

I'm finally done! Today was a rough day, I found out earlier this morning that one of my uncles died. We're all okay, if anything it gave me motivation to finish this chapter just to keep my mind occupied. I had alot planned for this chapter and I realized it would be waaay too long, so I'm splitting it into two. Don't worry, I've already started on Chapter 7. 

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**CHAPTER 6**

It was around 7:30 that night when Sawyer pulled up to the motel parking lot. He'd been there, or rather, woken up there before, a result of a drunken night when he was too drunk to drive and even tell the woman where his apartment was. It would normally take him no more than 20 minutes from where he lived, yet on this day it took him nearly an hour to get there. For the first time in his life, he was driving the speed limit. Not because he felt like obeying the traffic laws that day, but because the last thing on his mind was some highway patrol jerk-off. 

As Sawyer sat in his car, he was torn between leaving and never looking back, to going up to that door and seeing what would be behind it. One on hand, Sawyer hated what this was doing to him—what _she_ was doing to him. No woman had ever affected him in this way, and even though he wouldn't dare even admit it to himself, this terrified and angered him. On the other hand, however, seeing Kate that day of the wedding, seeing her sitting there with strands of hair falling over her eyes as she would look at him, all Sawyer could think of was that there was no other place he wanted to be more than right there. It took every ounce of strength in him not to touch her, just to see if she was really there or if this was another dream of his. That meeting was.. awkward at best. Their usual verbal jabs alongside their natural chemistry felt like they were back on the island, but there was something new, something just below the surface. Sawyer could feel it, and he knew that Kate could feel it, but like everything else in her life, she instinctively ran away from it. 

Sawyer took a deep breath before getting out of his car and making his way up the front stairs of the motel. When he got to the top, he looked to his right and spotted it-- Room 56. He looked to his left and behind him down below one last time to make sure this wasn't some prank Jack was pulling, and then walked the few feet to the door. He brought his fist up to knock but then stopped, smiled, and moved a few inches to his left so he could not be seen through the peephole. Sawyer knocked three times. 

"Uhh, who is it?" Kate was still learning not to panic when someone would knock on a door to a room she was in. For years she was used to hiding or crawling out of a window even before the third knock came. Even when she was in prison she was still hyper-aware of her surroundings. Now someone was at the door she wasn't expecting and who didn't answer her. She went up to the door, stood on her toes a little to reach the peephole and looked in; no one was there. She called out again. 

"It's me Marco," Sawyer said in a deliberately louder voice, "the escort you ordered for tonight. I know I'm a bit early but I heard you like to go --" Sawyer stepped back and snickered a little as the door opened quickly. Kate had an annoyed look on her face, but a hint of smile also came through. Sawyer was almost breathless, she looked beautiful as always. 

"Very funny." Kate said dryly but still with a smile on her face. For some reason, while looking at him standing at her doorstep, her heart began to race. _What's going on? This hasn't happened since.._

Sawyer noticed that Kate was no longer looking at him in the eye and was acting a bit nervous. He didn't know whether to ask her if he could come in or to see if she'd just walk back inside and expect him to follow. He decided to keep his act up to see what she would do. "Remember it's 200 an hour or --" 

"Get inside," she said forcefully yet playfully and grabbed Sawyer's arm to pull him inside, "the last thing I need is more attention, especially with those two teenage boys staying two doors down." 

"Darlin', if those two guys are by themselves in a motel room," Sawyer turned around to face Kate, "I don't think you're exactly their cup of tea, if you know what I mean." He could see her cheeks flush in embarrassment. Sawyer couldn't help but smile before turning back around to survey the room. "I almost forgot how nice these rooms were." He walked along the foot of the bed when at the corner of his eye he noticed some small pieces of clothing on the floor. He immediately recognized the lace and satin fabrics which propelled him to clear his throat and turn back around to see Kate with her arms crossed. 

"What are you doing here, Sawyer? Actually, wait, how did you know I was here?" He shot her a glance that only told her she should already know what the answer would be. "Jack told you." 

"Yeah, I was a bit t'd off that he found out where I lived. Showed up at my doorstep this morning practically beggin' me to come babysit you." Without looking at Kate for her reaction, Sawyer sat down on the edge of the bed. He then pushed down on it a couple of times. "Hmm, nice." 

"I don't need a babysitter." Kate watched as Sawyer put his legs up the bed. He was sitting up now and then looked up at Kate as he clasped his hands behind his head. "You comfortable?" Kate asked sarcastically. 

"Sure am." Sawyer said with a mischievous smile on his face. 

"Good. I'm leaving." Kate took a jacket that was draped over a chair and put it on. 

"Wait, what are you doing? Where you going?" Sawyer quickly stood back up. 

"It's none of your business. I don't have to tell you where I'm going or what I'm doing, Sawyer. Like I told Jack, I don't need anyone's help or concern. I can take care of myself. You can stay here for awhile if you want, just make sure you lock the door on your way out." Kate bent down and grabbed a faded green messenger bag. 

"Look, I didn't even wanna come here, alright?" Sawyer said angrily, not sure whether it was at her or himself. "So you can quit that attitude with me, girly. I was just asking a simple --" 

"Why did you come here then, Sawyer! Huh? It sure as hell wasn't a favor for your good ol' friend Jack, I know that." Kate was looking at Sawyer, who was now looking down at the floor. "Look at me, Sawyer." He looked vulnerable, almost lost. The only other time she had ever seen him like this was when he told her about his parents. He finally looked up. "Why did you come here?" 

They stood there, not saying a word, for what seemed like forever. Sawyer didn't know whether he should tell her the truth, and Kate didn't know if there was something she wanted him to say. Finally, she just turned around and left the room. He sat back on the bed, resumed his lying position, and then lit a cigarette. 


	7. Chapter 07

I now know that working full-time is not the best situation to be in when you're attempting to write a fic, heh. I'm really sorry about all these delays. 

First of all, I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've put in subtle Skatey tidbits in the chapters. Mostly telling their "love story" in seemingly small but profound moments (at least profound in my eyes). I was gonna include in this chapter a paragraph or two concerning Jack and Kate and their connection. Instead, I'm saving that for later but I do have Kate talking about it. One particular thing she says may be confusing, but just if you think about it, you'll understand what she (essentially, I) was trying to convey. 

Secondly, I don't know how much you guys are gonna like this chapter. It's the most departure from the characters of the show that I've ever written, but I'd like to think that considering the circumstances of what happens, it should make sense. Also, I'm not really taking away any of their established personalities, I'm just adding more to it. All in all, it's just a fic and it's got some Skatey goodness and that's what matters, right? Heh. In actuality, I like this chapter. Maybe because it's the start of where this fic will be heading. 

Okay enough writing, here it is! 

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**CHAPTER 7**

The sound was loud enough to wake Sawyer up, but not alarming enough to get him to open his eyes. He had gotten used to hearing banging noises ever since the guy next door had his girlfriend move in, and unfortunately Sawyer's bedroom was adjacent to theirs. He heard the noise again but this time something else followed it. 

"Ow!" It was female, and familiar. 

Sawyer finally opened his eyes, but instead of wondering whose voice it was that he heard in his room, something else was brought to his attention; it was completely dark. His room was never this dark because of a street lamp located right outside the complex. He was on his side facing right, yet his alarm clock was not where it always was. Suddenly, it came to him in a rush of realization. _Oh shit, I'm still in Kate's room._ Before Sawyer could think of how he could possibly explain this, he heard a noise again. He turned around soon enough to see Kate stumble to the floor. Sawyer's first reaction was to go to her, but he hesitated, not sure of what her reaction will be to someone seemingly coming out of the darkness. 

He sat there silent and motionless, anticipating her getting back up and being no doubt startled by his presence. Instead, he heard soft groaning and what seemed to be giggling. Sawyer knew that sound. There was only one reason why someone would start laughing after falling down. He relaxed a little and smiled. 

"Damn darlin', you could have at least called once to check in." Sawyer said as he pulled the covers off him and turned on the lamp that was on the dresser. 

Kate was startled and stood up quickly, only to start to lose her balance again. This time, Sawyer stood up and was able to catch her before her knees buckled. She instinctively grabbed on, and looked up at him. Sawyer's heart began to race; this was the closest he had been to her in years. Kate smiled as her face softened, but just as quickly a look of confusion came over her. 

"Sawyer?" Her voice was soft and a little rough. "What are you still doing here?" The smell of alcohol was fresh on her breath, but it wasn't as empowering as Sawyer was used to smelling. _She didn't drink that much, should have known she'd be a damn light-weight._

"Guess I fell asleep darlin', which is exactly what you should be doing now." 

Sawyer was starting to move her towards the bed when Kate finally realized she was in his arms. She pushed away from him and started to make her way towards the chair near the door. 

"I'm not sleepy. I just.. need to sit down." 

"Look Freckles," Sawyer said as he watched Kate take a seat on the chair and immediately put her head down on the table in front of her, "if you don't get some sleep right now, you're gonna wake up feeling like the damn world is jumpin' around in your head. Jack will never give me a moment's peace if he finds out --" Sawyer was interrupted by muffled words from Kate. "Sorry darlin', but I didn't hear anything you said on account of that table in the way." 

Kate slowly brought her head up only high enough so Sawyer could see her face. "I said, 'you don't have to worry about him anymore.''" Her voice was no longer soft, but her speech was starting to get forced. "I told him.. that I appreciate everything he's done for me but I.. can't do this anymore." 

Sawyer stiffened as he stared at Kate, who was staring back at him. _What does she mean? What the hell have they been doing?_ Sawyer didn't know how to ask her without revealing too much. He took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed. "Were you and the doc…?" 

"No!" Kate exclaimed, even managing a soft laugh. Even though Sawyer knew it came out partly due to the alcohol, it still made him smile. Just as quickly, however, her expression turned somber and her eyes seemed to glaze over. It was almost like a movie was playing in her mind; a movie that was painful for her to watch. 

"Maybe I better get.." Sawyer said as he started getting up. 

"No wait," Kate reached out her hand, instinctively, and looked up at Sawyer, "there's something I want to tell you." She watched as he looked at her softly and then headed back to where he was sitting. At this point she wasn't quite sure why she was going to tell Sawyer what she was about to tell him, but she took a deep breath and started anyways. 

"There was this guy.. this guy that I loved for a really long time. We'd known each other since we were kids. I guess you could say he was my childhood sweetheart, and yes I know how corny that sounds, but it was true in this case. We told each other everything.. everything. He was the man, the man that I killed. I mean, I wasn't the one who pulled the trigger.. but he died because of me. Because I didn't listen to him. He was trying to help me, to save me, and I let him die." 

Kate's gaze, which had been focused on the floor, slowly rose in Sawyer's direction. He wasn't looking at her at first, but instead out the window to her left. After a few seconds, however, he looked back towards her. 

"Why are you telling me this, Kate?" 

"Because.. I didn't tell Jack," she said simply. She saw that he wasn't sure what to make of this answer, but her thoughts were becoming too cloudy to give an explanation. Kate could now sense that heavy feeling in her body, the feeling of the alcohol settling. She tried to get up but her head started throbbing which forced her back on the seat. 

"Damn Freckles," Sawyer said as he made his way towards her and gently grabbed her arms to help her up, "you didn't drink up the whole damn bar, did you?" Kate didn't answer as he gingerly guided her to the bed. He watched as she carefully pulled away from him and slid herself under the covers. He fought the urge to touch her as he turned around to walk towards the door when he suddenly felt her hand grasp his. 

"Don't.. leave me alone here," Kate said, in barely a whisper, with her eyes already closed. 

Sawyer froze, not knowing how he was going to handle this. He had been in this situation countless of times before, and he had no qualms about seizing the opportunity, but this was different. This wasn't just any woman he met in a smoky bar; this was Kate. 

Before he had time to worry, however, he felt the grip on his hand loosen and heard heavy breathing coming from Kate's direction. Sawyer looked at her softly as he used his other hand to cup hers in between his before placing it under the blanket, then reaching for the lamp to turn off the lights. 

He walked over to the armoire and pulled out a spare blanket and made his way to the chair he had been sitting at just a few minutes ago. He sat and put his feet up on the other chair across from it, then draped the blanket over him. He looked over at Kate, who was now sound asleep, wondering what was going on in that head of hers. Something told him that this night may have been the start of something, but what that something was, he was still too afraid to wonder. Sawyer looked over her one last time before turning away and closing his eyes. 

--------------------

_".. What are you doing? What the hell are you doing with a gun, get out of here!"_

"Sawyer.. Sawyer wake up you're having a --" 

Sawyer quickly lifted his head from where it hung from the top of the chair, and his eyes snapped open to not only see Kate standing over him with a concerned look on her face, but noticing as he looked down that his fist was red and sore from gripping the blanket so tightly. He let go and winced as he slowly opened his fist. 

"Were you dreaming about squeezing the hell out of someone's head or something?" 

"I wasn't dreaming of anything," Sawyer said coldly while looking up at Kate. Her expression, however, told him she wasn't buying it for a second. He looked away, took his feet off the chair across from him, and cleared his throat as a sign for the subject to be dropped. "If you were wondering why I was still here, I don't know if you remember but you were --" 

"I remember why you're here, Sawyer." Kate said as she turned around walked towards the bed, picking up a brown paper bag that was set on it. She reached inside, pulled something out of it, and turned back around to Sawyer to hand it to him. "You want some breakfast?" 

"What the hell kind of breakfast is this," he said as he looked at it and her with a mocking look on his face, "some donut lookin' piece of bread?" 

"Are you serious? That's a bagel, Sawyer. You know, you spread cream cheese on it.." 

"I know what a damn bagel is. It's just that you can't expect to fill a grown man's stomach with somethin' tiny as this thing, can you?" Sawyer commented in a condescending tone. 

His attempt at masking the tension from the awkwardness of last night failed as he noticed a slight look of defeat in Kate's face. 

"Fine, don't eat it," she said flatly as she turned away from him. 

Sawyer silently scolded himself and tried to quickly recover. "I guess this will do though, for now at least. But I'm takin' you to IHOP later on to get a real breakfast. You need some meat on your bones, girl," he said with a smirk as Kate turned around and smirked in return. 

"Um, thanks.. for staying here last night. I don't really know why I asked --" she said after sitting down on the other chair across from him and setting down the paper bag on the table. The tension was rising again as they sat there without looking at each other. 

"Don't mention it, Freckles" Sawyer said as he shot a quick glance at Kate. He reached down into the bag and pulled out the little plastic cup with the cream cheese. 

"Umm, Sawyer.. there's been something I've been meaning to tell you since, actually ever since I saw you that day of Michael's wedding. When I was in prison, I met this woman who had been there for 15 years for killing her pastor husband; at least, that's what she was convicted of. From the first day I met her I knew this woman hadn't done it. Apparently, when they found out that she took a large amount of money from their bank account, they figured that she killed him because he found out about it. She confessed to taking it, but she wouldn't tell them why she did and that her husband never found out, so she didn't have a reason to kill him. So I asked her why she didn't just tell the police why she took it." 

Kate paused and looked at Sawyer intently, which caused him to stop eating. "She was having an affair with some man who she found out had been a criminal; a conman. She took the money because she was about to leave her husband for him. Then she found out about his past, and confronted him and broke it off. He got so angry and stole the money from her and just disappeared. A few days later, her husband was dead. I guess she didn't tell the police because it would ruin her reputation. She was ashamed to say that she still loved that man, and that a part of her wasn't upset that her husband died, and that she believes she belongs in prison for the sins she's committed." 

Sawyer could feel his stomach turning and a lump develop in this throat. _Why is she telling me this story?_ "Get to your point, Kate," he said through his teeth, which was clenched by this point. 

"Right before I was released, she told me that he wrote to her to let her know he was still alive. I read it. Sawyer, his name was Robert Keeling, but she told me he always wanted her to call him by his middle name—Sawyer." 


End file.
